In Arizona the citronella candles in the garden were basically a grave yard for moths, flies and other totally innocent yet butt-ugly bugs.
OBVIOUSLY the scorpions, freako spiders and other poisonous desert crawlies were immune to the 'beauty of the light...' Do you know how hard it is to squash a BABY scorpion? Yet squash I did. For the sake of my own baby. I found it crawling from outside the TV which was dangerously close to the corridor from which my baby slept off of. Scorpions sting. Bark scorpions sting quite nastily. It ruined my romantic visions of a midnight swim in the pool I can tell you. But as we arrive home it is like arachniphobia. UGLY nasty spiders have weaved their webs everywhere, one even fell down on me in the car and it was so big that when I batted it away with my fist it felt like the size of a baseball. Or at least a cricket ball....
Those great big flying daddy long legs are nothing compared to an ugly spider. However,
If you wish to live and thrive
Let the spider run alive
They are meant to bring good luck. I must STOP squashing my good luck. Lucy doesn't seem to mind them....
Lucy is tricky at the mo. She fights sleep like a Stormtrooper against Chewy with wind.
She is also teething which doesn't help. I thought babies were supposed to teeth from 6 months. I can feel her little nashers as I apply "Calgel" with my finger that has stroked the dog, gardened and cleaned the car. Dear God.
Speaking of which Lucy is being Christened for various reasons I would rather not share or open debate to. Apart from of course her pretty dress which was a dry-cleaned bargain from Ebay. Her size 3 shoes were not. Brand new from Babies R Us in the USA.
Chip off the ol' giacantic-footed block.
Of all the things she had to inherit from me dammit...
Lucy had her second immunisations on Wed. She didn't even cry. I would have cried if someone shot a needle into my thigh like that.
My Daughter is a hero. A breed of groovy braveness. She is in the early stages of teething. A salvating, starving dog dribbles less. I got her something called a Gummy - a cross between a dummy and a teething ring. Seems to do the trick, if only she could hold it herself for longer than 8 seconds...
She is weaning at the moment, a little early but she is hungry and the formulas in the USA are packed with far too much iron, so on holiday I had to make sure she wasn't as constipated as an 80 year old on a diet of peanuts. She loves pears. Not so keen on apple. Must be kind of tart. The faces she pulls....
....the poos she pulls. Speaking of which, we were looking at houses to move to in the USA and there was a slight typo in one description - "...very large back yard, plenty of room for a poo."
Always a plus....
Weird I should make reference to Steve Irwin in the last blog. Never really thought about the guy before and now through freak tragedy, a global nation of animal lovers and total hypocrites mourn his death. I never met the guy but if I can inject the same passion for something like wildlife that he did into his own children I will be doing something right. I'll try not to dangle my baby in front of a croc but when she is screaming endlessly, drawing on the walls or sticking a screw up her nose in the middle of the night that promise could be tricky...We are on holiday in the USA where the choice of restaurants is as unlimited as the free refills that are derigour everywhere (unfortunately not on wine or beer.) How a nation can EAT so much is anyone's guess. How a nation can THINK about food so often is beyond me. But it is catchy...contagious even.No wonder kids come bouncing out of schools like footballs. It is cheaper to munch on Taco Bell daily than have a packed lunch. If we move here the difference for my baby will be the temperatures. Arizona heat means even the most hardy have to take a swim in the pool, sweat like a beast and at some point during their stay run screaming from a scorpion. Just sleeping with one eye open over the baby's crib for fear of the desert creepies is enough to keep you slim -or hungry for a midnight snack........please join me in what Taco Bell describes as the 4th meal. Chow down nation. Chow down.
