Spending a Penny at Liverpool Street

I think this could be the lyrics to a song.

I took Lucy to London on a modelling photoshoot. Once we got there it was a good laugh with lots of other nice mums and cute babies in a penthouse pad only James Bond could live in. Nevertheless getting there was hellish. I needed the loo for 3 hours and by the time we were going through Liverpool St for the second time it was non negotiable. I couldn't use the toilets as they are down below in a space no pushchair could ever venture and a 20p piece is essential. I had to go the long way round to the McDonald's on the upper level where the disabled toilets double as a baby changing space - only it almost wasn't Lucy that needed changing....

...and of course some fool was using them for 10 minutes and he was neither disabled or a baby.

The penthouse pad for the photoshoot was in a beautiful new building in the depths of hellish Hackney. I got off the train and looked at the stairs me and the pushchair would have to climb. I couldn't carry this one no matter how hard I tried. It is amazing how the dodgiest looking of folk offer to help you out. Equally the women in suits just stare or push you away (the men in suits actually help). Never judge a book by its cover. I used to be a woman in a suit. I can't remember ever offering to help.

And so we enter the week of Lucy's First Christmas to find she has 2 teeth, is almost sitting up, frequently spitting up and often shitting up.

She also laughs alot and likes to eat and choke on paper. Bless. Can't wait to unwrap those presents.

Holy Shit

Lucy did a poo in church today. Which is fine - but she does make many a noise that would suggest she is doing a poo and that is not very conducive to 'quiet' prayer...

I don't know why I was in church. Makes me feel better I guess. It certainly keeps Lucy entertained. I like to think the fundemental idea behind Christianity is to stop humans from destroying each other. But I am fairly certain the downfall of mankind and the 'end of the world' will be due to man himself. Not global warming. Or the plague. I just hope it doesn't happen this week. I have some more Christmas shopping to do and a visit to Tesco.

I am taking Lucy into London tomorrow to a place in Bethnal Green and I don't know where it is.

Pray for me. And send me chocolate.

A password a day keeps the shopping at bay...

I hate Christmas shopping. I used to love it. Any reason to blow some cash buying great stuff for poor unsuspecting friends and family. But now any opportunity to do it is limited because I only can when someone will watch the baby. I am never again squeezing myself and a pushchair into the teenie tiny M&S lift to find it get stuck. Ever. Never ever ever. Nope.

There are too many people in the world. And they all live in my town. And they are rude. Or over 382 years old - old folks that drive those shop mobility scooters are MEAN. And naughty little kids running all over the place are shits. Lucy will never be like that. She will salute and obey. Right...

Anywho...so most of my shopping has been done online. But you need a password just to look at some sites never mind place a purchase. I have so many passwords and user IDs for internet sites I could be an employee of MI5. And I am so paranoid about hackers I come up with 'clever' ideas everytime. So having the memory of a goldfish is proving a problem. PLUS to supplement my festive purchases I was going to sell some clobber on Ebay but I closed my Paypal account some time ago and as I try and start a new one it keeps saying my emails are all in use, my accounts are already registered to a Paypal account blah blah. VERY ANNOYING and VERY wrong...I closed it for &*(&^%! sake. So Ebay is out of the question for now.

Lucy recently had a lovely Christening. She behaved beautifully and even had a nap during part of the service so she was 'fresh' for the mega buffet lunch. I'll admit I was by the radiator and nodded off from time to time myself. She was given lots of very nice gifts but as the gifts got detached from the cards the thank yous are slightly tricky. Most read 'Thank you for the lovely present'. If the present wasn't that lovely it may sound OTT. HOWEVER...

...a couple of gifts were actually for me. That's my kinda Christening.