I was shopping in Mothercare today. I go in there quite frequently if I am in town, mostly because I think I should. I have already bought nearly every single item they sell so most of the time I don't actually need anything. In fact strictly speaking I don't have any children so I shouldn't really NEED any of their products...yet. But as time ticks on and that due date (probably overdue date) creeps ever nearer I wander around Mothercare in the hope I can justify yet another purchase.
Today it was a baby bag.
In truth you could just use a rucksack or a normal big bag but where is the fun in that? I already bought a 'designer' baby bag through the Internet and when it arrived it was cute, but it seemed small. Very small for the 82 nappies, 76 bottles and 476 poops I have been told you end up lugging around. It comes with a matching changing pad but even this seems small. Unless you change one cheek at a time. Or have a midget. So I bought ANOTHER baby bag, much bigger, slightly uglier (plain black) and very practical. I don't think you can really be cool with babies. Practicality wins every time. Plus now I have a bag for every occasion.
With this purchase in mind I wanted something for me, moi, myself... so I bought a summer maternity top in the kind of style I can probably get away with wearing well after the birth. Actually, who am I kidding? I will be wearing all my maternity clothes well after the birth. I wonder if I can con people into thinking I am pregnant again rather just a blubber butt?
I went to the checkout and it was busy with one of those queues that is really just a bunch of random, scattered people - the kind where you get there and think 'Is there a queue...?' So I asked a lady with a toddler in a pushchair if she was waiting and she said 'Yes' in a tone that really meant 'Step in front of me and I will rip your face off.' At best, she was rude. I thought all of us in Mothercare were mothers united, all bonded together with similar experiences and love. At the very least those with screaming kids may remember what it was like to be almost 9 months pregnant.... I was wrong. At that point a saleslady appeared from nowhere and asked if someone would like to accompany her to the other till. I was next to her in a flash. Mrs Rude could wait in her beloved queue...
As a plus point the saleslady pointed out that if I buy one maternity top I get another half price. I said I am nearly there now and just wanted this one for warm days. She asked how long I had left and when I told her she looked surprised. I could have kissed her. What a change from Lady Chav (see previous).
In other news today.... the gossip columns are reporting that Tom Cruise has 'changed Katie's name' which actually means he has decided that Katie is a young girls name and Kate is the name of a mother. And so that is what he will call her. What an arse wipe he is.
2 comments:
I had to buy every baby product in the shops when I was pregnant, plus every pregnancy magazine going. Even though they just print the same articles every month with the words in a slightly different order. I didn't mind I still liked reading them.
I'd look at the 'What you need for your baby' lists in every magazine I owned (a big pile) and spend all my time collating these into a definitive list that covered everything a baby might need for the first six months. I must have assumed that I couldn't get to the shops again until the baby was walking.
I was practically a full time baby product researcher, but I still had sleepless nights wondering whether I had enough baby powder. And was I sure it was the right sort of baby powder?
Then the baby arrives and you don't even use the baby powder. Or the changing table. Or the hooded bath towels. Or the changing bags. Or the expensive bath seat. But it's important to buy all of these things, just for the vital reassurance they provide in the last few weeks. Expensive reassurance, but if you don't have a 'nothing but the best' attitude for your first child you'd worry about that too...
If I ever did it again I'd probably just buy one bag of newborn nappies and a six pack of Mothercare baby grows.
Nah, who am I kidding? Obsessive baby shopping is an important part of the pregnancy experience.
Whatever you do don't forget the nipple cream! Don't worry, you won't actually need it, but it has to be in the cupboard to ward off scary thoughts about chapped nipples.
I don't have a changing table. But I do have the hooded bath towels. Dammit. Maybe the dog will use them...
I'll pick up some nipple cream with the gripe water someone told me to get. I assume that is for gripes...
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