The midwife said today the baby has settled into the perfect position. Settled is the key word here. I hope there are no funny last minute maneuvers or ambitious dancing.... stay right where you are please. Unless, of course, you would like to meet. I can deal with that at a moments notice as long as I have time to pick up my exercise ball, breast pads, fan and 16 baby bags.
I bought a tin of pineapple in juice from Tesco today. Time to give up the double chocolate choc chip choco flake cakes. Legend states that pineapple can bring on labour.
I have just read that only fresh pineapple can bring on labour. Damn.
Sex is also said to trigger labour. There are hormones in semen that mimick the hormones that start labour. Apparently these hormones are better absorbed through the stomach. Forget it.
I have reflexology sessions every two weeks at the moment. This is supposed to help labour too. Although 5 minutes before my last session I had been walking around in the garden barefoot and then realised I had some weird yellow sticky foreign objects stuck to my heels and no amount of bathing could get them off. The reflexologist was a brave lady and never once asked why I was so late or why my feet had yellow puss marks on the bottom of them. The lesson here is - don't plant anything in your garden if you don't know what it does.
I am currently bidding on Ebay for a Tommee Tippee Nappy Wrapper Bin. Brand new I might add. There are some used ones on there but for GOODNESS SAKE....
That's up there with the used breast pumps in the 'no thank you ever' stakes. Who would want some other baby's plastic crap house?
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