Name Games

Geri Halliwell has named her baby Bluebell Madonna.

Mmmmmkay.

I myself want to avoid my child coming home from school with half an eye popping out of their socket, a bloody lip and wedgy so tight only pliars could undo it. In fact, if I knew someone at school with that name I would have been compelled to smack them myself. And I was a lovely child.

I think Ernest or Joy or Betty or Alfred are safe names. Jimmy is always everyone's friend or the school bully so no fear there. Jennifer is a nice safe plain name. There are various ways to spell it too - Jeni, Jenny, Jennie. Charles is a safe name, could be spiced up to Chuck. Chuck Eagle. He'll be an RAF man or an anchor man for US television news.

There are lots of girls names I like but they always have associations with other beings - usually soap characters I hate or loath. Chloe is a lovely named ruined by Sonia on Eastenders daughter - incidentally the baby she had no idea she was pregnant with and just fell out after a bit of wind. Sure.

Poppy, Daisy and Honey are sweet names over-associated with famous celebs kids. Actually, let's be honest - Honey is a dog's name. Summer is a groovy hippy type name associated with my favourite weather and unfortunately also a character from the O.C.....plus I'd have to wrestle my husband into unconsciousness before he would agree to it.

Hmmm.

Barry, Mary, Larry, Gary, Sherrie or Hyacinth it is then.