Where the hell is this call from the physio? My buttcheek is killing me.
I actually fell asleep for a while last night and the heavy weight on one side has given me cramp in one buttock. Is that possible? I am tempted to just get a pregnancy girdle but by the time I have bought one and had it delivered the baby will probably have arrived. And anyway, I want my 'free' NHS one. I pay taxes. Well, I used to pay taxes.... My husband pays taxes.
I am organising a hen night due to take place one month after I give birth. If I give birth on time. Attendance could be tricky. Unless I am like a dairy cow and can pump enough milk for about 10 feeds. Or hide the baby in my handbag. Or perhaps the goody bag for the hen - I am sure the baby would have a great time rolling around amongst penis shaped shotglasses and crotchless underwear. It could play with the crawl-along-wind-up-willy.
Then we are due to attend the wedding which will also be interesting if the baby is late. Breastfeeding a 3 week old baby at a wedding when you're as clumsy as me could have unpleasant consequences for the guests. Nothing like a bit of breastmilk in the eye to strike up conversation.
Then I want to visit my parents who live a million miles away in a warm climate with a pool and everything a good holiday demands. But the baby will need a passport. And a photo...
How do you take a passport sized photo of a newborn baby? What if it is taken when the baby has a full head of curly ginger hair but when it travels this has been replaced by delicate blonde lockes?
I probably worry too much. I shouldn't worry about that, I'm not having Mick Hucknall's baby.
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